Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
看电影前看到有人做BGM整理的我：不至于吧；看完电影的我：下午那个帖是在哪儿看到的来着？？
就感觉梗多一点，谈不上是好片。几乎全程上海话蛮嗲的，但黄明昊演的年轻人说普通话有点意思。
洋酒穿肠，美肴下肚； 谈笑风生，好不快活。以为只是一个中年偶像剧，围绕着庸常琐碎打转；却更像悲喜交加的人生组曲，千滋百味。它没有强行为角色们创造任何选择，而是让各路特色小铺、闲适悠闲的沪味生活浑然一体的洒脱与惬意来作为准则；到底是神话还是笑话，都交由他们自己书写。但更难得的还是齐聚了三位都在近年来因为各种热剧重回人们视线、并且不断值得更多好机会的女演员们；每个人的风姿多彩与绽放的火花仿佛可以加开「沪版《爱很美味》」，让人们感受她们在这个阶段也恣意散发的无边魅力。
啊张芝华！每次去上海好像都是住类似的地方……想起最后一次去上海也还是和某老师一起去的。。。电影很不错了，看得很开心，觉得每个女生的白眼都翻得超好的！
摘自长评： “本片的宣传点之一是女性主义，但如果把这看成一个女权故事，那倪虹洁应该睡黄明昊啊，真的会有人在女权故事里想睡徐峥黄磊吗” 哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
预定年度最佳，目前为止看过最好看的商业电影，有趣又有深度，难能可贵。
一夜情，前妻，Jimmy choo，被归化的外国男和混血女儿，咖啡店，ktv，传说中的土耳其和yy电影女星，所谓时髦元素堆砌，不知所云。音乐挺好听的，但没起到作用，转场突兀。
Reality is not a Fellini's film. 没想到在一部华语商业片中还会以这种方式再次遇见费里尼 太绝了。
拖沓了拖沓了，人物可以砍掉一两个。oh by the way 房子哪能这么早过户的，他妈哈港八港，他妈脑子瓦特！
音乐也是，宁波话歌曲虽然惊艳，但不太上海。英语歌很不正宗，网红店爱用的，哎败笔。
#电影院# 并不像伍迪艾伦，还以为看了部侯麦
看电影前看到有人做BGM整理的我：不至于吧；看完电影的我：下午那个帖是在哪儿看到的来着？？
中年版的小时代。正如最后他们聚在一起看费里尼的那一幕，是如此强烈地肯定了某种单纯的社交麻醉对于生活世界的反向稀释，或是对朋友圈泡泡里的某种心理公约数进行无意识的复读（就取一个最低限度的交集作为“正常生活”永恒的活动空间吧）。以这种潜在的逻辑，爱情与亲密关系的主题自然也被转换成一系列浮在表面的“过招”与“游戏”，从而和彼此之间的深入理解毫无关系。从始至终，影片都在强化自恋主义时代的那套扁平的人际交往结构，刻意与灼人的真情实感保持距离。片中的角色心安理得，用某种都市两性角色扮演玩家手册里的提线木偶替换了真身，超越这层套路的复杂情感羁绊则被彻底否定。影片还通过几次居高临下的说教，反复确证那套“爱无能”的自觉意识，以及用看似市井烟火气的装饰物抹平了现实的坎坷，为所有都市人的空虚重新刷上一层漂亮的底色
处女作的四两拨千斤，市井智慧与艺术性的融合，全程台词的精妙，国内语境下正确呈现多元价值观的尝试等等，无数珍贵之处。而之所以没有那么被打动，是仍然理想化的、过度美化的、站在一定优越感高点的俯视，注定与真的现实有距离。大概懂了为什么那么多美国人讨厌伍迪艾伦。但中国电影需要这部。
中年人的爱情戏最好看。
老乌给了她中国男人的一夜，他给了老乌一个罗马。晦涩难懂的《爱情神话》让不羁的格洛迪亚昏昏欲睡，却让向往文艺又一地鸡毛的李小姐看开了眼前的生活。老乌的过往是抓不住的神话爱情，却一生都埋在彼此心里。白老师的爱情神话才刚刚开始。
饭桌上你来我往的群戏是最精彩的，剧情弱了些，基本靠对话来推动。
两万五的赎金不会将土耳其抵达，方可书写她此时此刻的有钱有闲状态最佳；
和平影都，4.0分。能理解多种反应，但也觉得这么轻快松弛的片子，也没必要背负那么多使劲儿解读（还是太文以载道了）。导演多少是聚焦在一个privileged world（土著、洋楼、编制、涉外婚姻、早期留学生，高度自洽也放弃了经济文化事实的代表性）；但邵艺辉目光是坦率、轻松、温和与细腻的，在这片合成的、相对空旷到可以谈情说爱的空间里，她让所有人处在爱说爱做、却又难以承诺的暧昧里（某种程度上，爱情在这里才是神话，而非工具或扯淡）。最喜欢老乌这条线，感觉到邵艺辉的敏感，老乌（的市民气质及他的神话般的故事）像像是一个本地化了的小神龛，属于那些国门重开后重叠旧梦新章的“世界/上海”叙事的早期信徒；也许错误、也许可笑、但他们真诚且存在；周野芒也演得很不错。
天呐！我看到了什么？影片用轻松诙谐的笔触解构两性关系，由此引申出人过中年的悲欢离合。市井生活的烟火气尽在其中，都市男女的众生相尽收眼底。名为爱情神话，实为人生图鉴。淡化传统三幕，专注日常片段，结构看似松散，实则独具匠心。以白描手法塑造人物形象，价值输出同样不偏不倚。台词妙语连珠，弦外之音更是值得玩味，搭配吴侬软语和精湛的表演，那感觉妙不可言。与此同时，场面调度游刃有余，摄影机从未缺席，轻盈地穿梭在街巷与人物之间，精准地交代着关系，调动着情绪。视听语言和文本内容浑然天成，场景、音乐、迷影等元素融合成独特的气质与魅力。这不就是中国版伍迪·艾伦吗？这样的作品出现在内地院线简直像做梦一样！如果说《雄狮少年》是端倪可察的黑马，本片则完全是意料之外的惊喜。2021年度华语电影十佳必有一席之地！灵啊~
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