Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
油画、水墨、戏剧并用的舞台场景，古典、现代、川剧揉杂又浑然一体的配乐，角色在戏剧光影与人生苦乐间进退穿行，情节在真切自然和光怪陆离中自由切换。
6.30 台北中正堂
前面笑到人仰马翻，结尾哭到无法呼吸。贾玲对妈妈的爱在电影里淋漓尽致的展现，忽然觉得拍好一部电影或许真的不是那么难的事情。你看贾玲就做得挺好
既没让我笑也没让我哭，每个“爆笑”段落都尬出天际，最后又来一个大型煽情。片尾曲第二首是啥玩意？第一次遇到这么赶客的片尾曲。还有那段女儿撮合妈妈相亲的戏，跟这个年代催婚的母亲们有啥区别，约等于把“时代倒退”几个字打在了大银幕上。唯一让我共情的点在于即使是有李焕英这么好的妈妈，做女儿的也一直一直在努力想让妈妈高兴。这说明大多数母亲都让孩子感到亏欠，而孩子却在无条件地爱她们——宁愿不出生，也希望妈妈能过得更幸福。
不止一次想过我妈年轻时候是什么样，看到张小斐想可能我妈也是这样吧，大厂里的飒爽女工，性格跟训我的时候声音一样，都是脆生生的
贾晓玲撮合李焕英和沈光林这段有很多笑点，但内核是很扎心的。
穿越实在烂大街了，再加什么花样也是烂大街；非要搞喜剧最后是悲剧那套，那干脆拍个正正经经的电影多好，喜剧元素剃掉不完了；演员实在太熟，跳脱不了以往的印象；剧情有的地方过于尴尬... ...整个片子就像一个个小品合起来的冰糖葫芦，但最后几个放的都是苦瓜。另外，平心而论，冲着前期的笑料，片子可以勉强给及格。但是，这个片子放春节档就离谱！！贾玲最后几分钟就不停在哭，还要勾引你也跟着哭，大年初一的，看这玩意儿图的啥？像我这种母亲已经过世的更看不了这个，气
非常幸运能在大银幕看到这部片子/当中国近代史的洪流穿过邱福的身体 溅出的是一代艺术家的绝唱
被捧得很高的贺岁档 感觉剧情有点俗套 全片唯一的亮点大概是她妈也穿越了吧
这是这几年看到的国产影片中，从头到尾让人感觉最舒服的，这应该和导演及编剧是以贾玲为中心的女性团体有关系，在脱离了男性凝视，在不用女性当工具人的电影中，女演员的魅力被无限放大，不知道男观众如何想，但是作为女观众完全感受到了，那种仿佛闪着光的被超放大的魅力，把李焕英不只是作为母亲，更多作为一个飒利的女性的角色呈现在观众面前。
“妈，你怎么那么爱笑啊。”
前面一直笑，后面眼泪不住地流。知道是真实情况改编后，觉得贾玲在片中的眼泪都是真的。
胜在真情实感。电影本身在情节推进、逻辑处理上是有瑕疵的，但对大众而言，影片的感染力与观影时的共鸣感是直接而强劲的。饱满的情感比叙事的技巧更易打动人。
somethoughts：现在中国电影里对官僚主义的嘲讽都集中在喜剧片了，虽然被强力稀释在穿越、段子和反转里，被缩窄在一个小地方或小单位，但深入毛细血管的权力同构性依然让人立刻会心一笑。李焕英厂子领导们的喜剧效果很棒，而领导意志也是这片的叙事动力之一。《夏洛特烦恼》如果还能留下什么有价值的东西，就是那句“《我的区长父亲》”。
打我有记忆起，妈妈就是个中年妇女的样子。所以我总忘记，妈妈曾经也是个花季少女。
当你以为自己和电影中的贾玲一样拥有一个全知视角时，可能正是你要被这部电影深深催泪的时刻。电影最后，当另一个我压根就没有预料到的视角被打开的那个瞬间，我的眼泪就止不住了，真的太感人了。
当然，导演水平挺普通的，艺术性也基本没有，但真的就胜在了真诚，嗯。
张小斐还行，整体观感就像看现如今强迫你笑你哭的春晚小品，对不起我真的入不了戏。
从技巧上，即使对比《相爱相亲》情节剧，它也缺乏力量，就更难对比类似《痛苦与荣耀》里母亲和子女作为独立个体相互平视的亲密关系。真的，我们不需要黏糊糊的中国式不分你我的亲情，我们不需要下跪父母，我们更需要在这种亲情中，走向人格的独立、人的平等和思想的升华。
如果你会写作或者拍电影，你就能用自己的方式去铭记不想失去的一切。
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